Book in the Hand for Courting

Romantic storytelling came into vogue about the time that the troubadours began to compose songs of love and yearning. As time passed, the invention of the printing press produced mass quantities of books, making them available to just about everyone. With this change, many people became literate and took up reading as a form of entertainment.
Couples also began to use reading in their courting. Both men and women took turns reading their favorite passages or poems aloud. Through books, lovers found the words they couldn't say on their own. Lovers would spend hours searching the texts for just the right words for their partner and an equal amount of time reading it to them. Books were given as gifts with special words highlighted and dedications written to make them more special. Lovers had discovered a way to tell each other their thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams through printed words.
Reading Builds Good Communication Skills Why not pick up reading as a new aspect of your courting? It will make life more interesting. Reading is a form of communication training that naturally develops effective listening and communication skills. When you know how to communicate effectively, your relationship will stand a better chance of being a happy one.
If you think about what reading to your partner teaches you, it's worth more than anything you can do for your relationship. It teaches each partner how to take turns listening, and then speaking, and then giving feedback about what you've heard. This is a wonderful way of communicating. Reading to your partner will not only make you feel closer, but it will strengthen your relationship as well.
Encouraging Your Partner to Read to You People have different comfort levels with reading out loud, so you need to be sensitive to this. The best way to get your partner to read to you is to first let him or her know it's what you would like. Second, encourage him or her to do it.
If your partner is uncomfortable reading or you suspect that he or she is, follow these tips to make reading to you more desirable for your partner:
- Don't read over your partner's shoulder.
- Don't correct your partner's mispronunciations of words.
- Listen without interrupting.
- Praise your partner afterwards for reading to you. (For example, say, "You made me feel so special by reading that to me." "You have a great reading voice.").
- Close your eyes as your partner reads to you.
- Give your undivided attention to your partner.
When encouraging your partner to read, make his or her attempt as rewarding as possible. Sometimes people are uncomfortable reading out loud because of bad experiences in the past. By following the preceding tips, you will show your partner that reading to you is a positive experience...

Break the Pattern of Abusive Relationships

Women who get involved with abusive men are typically those who had abusive childhood home environments. This kind of upbringing tends to normalize abusive behavior in all relationships. What this means is that women from this kind of a background are not as keen to the subtleties of abuse the way "healthy" women are.

On a positive note, there is a silver lining here-all behavior can be relearned, including the ability to recognize early signs of abuse as unacceptable behaviors in a relationship. Once this is learned, a woman will be able to break free from unhealthy relationships with men who are no good for her.


Below is a list of common abusive behaviors to watch for:

- Criticism about your good qualities;
- Past abusive relationships;
- Criminal activities;
- Drinking or drug problems, past or present;
- Mood swings;
- Discourages your successes;
- Jealousy;
- Abusive family members or spouses of siblings;
- Attempts to control your whereabouts;
- Disrespect toward your publicly or privately;
- Violations of others rights;
- Irresponsibility;
- Attempts to keep you isolated;
- Persistent lying;
- History of truancy, delinquency and running away;
- Highly reactive;
- Streaks of meanness toward others for no reason;
- Threatened by relationships with other men, past, present or imagined.


In order to recognize early abusive signs, a woman must stop rationalizing "abusive" behaviors as "normal." If she sees ONE abusive behavior, regardless of how small, she needs to remind herself that it IS abuse. Period! With this new skill, she will soon be dating men who treat her with dignity and respect-the way all women deserve to be treated.

Top 25 of "The best dating tips"

These dating tips that are probably the most effective and useful dating secrets you can read ANYWHERE in the web assigned for those men who has some problems in communication with the opposite sex. You shouldn't count that if you just follow our advises you will solve all your problems. It probably won't happen, but at least you will learn how to understand women.
1. It is very important so that you had a shaved face. Most of the women love shaved faces. Not all of them of coarse, but it is much safer to be shaved than unshaved, thus a soft face may be considered as "pretty".
2. Try to smell well. There are several ways to avoid this problem. You can use deodorants. Under normal circumstances most modern women hate sweat odor. You can use either perfume, or non-smelling, which is more preferable than good-smelling, because there is always a chance that use the same/similar perfume her ex boy-friend used.
3. Try to show tolerance and be open-minded. Avoid showing sarcasm and negativity because it can indicate that you are probably on the losing side of life. In general, anything that can cause you a bad mood or her bad mood should be avoided.
4. Tell her name. If you want to know her name just introduce yourself and she will most probably tell you her name out of politeness. You should use it when you talk with her. It will help you to create a more intimate atmosphere.
5. If you are dating a lady on several times then you should use a different perfume each day. Ask which she prefers the most and than it. It will be a good idea to use an expensive perfume to not smell like anybody else. If she is sophisticated she will estimate it.
6. You mustn't be drunk when you are meeting the woman. If the woman that wants to make the first step and are incredibly shy, she may welcome a drunken man. But the most of women can't stand drunken men. As a result you can even get a bad fame.
7. You should be dressed nicely. While preparing for date you should put on good clothes (shirt, tie). If you are not sure what to wear try to ask some girls what clothes they like a man to wear or you should go clothes-shopping with a female relative or a female co-worker. Avoid wearing those clothes at all costs even when they are inappropriate or don't suit you. For example if you are going to the football match and you wear beautiful but uncomfortable clothes that make you sweat? On the other hand if you really want to find a girl-friend, you should be dressed well whenever and wherever you go. You go to an exhibition? Shave and dress well. You go to a football match? Shave and dress well! It is very important to remember those women are very "clothes-aware". If you are always dressed up it is a sign that you are datable.
8. You should try to keep fit. There are many kinds of sports exist, so it won't be a problem. Pros: If you are fit you will make a good impression. If you are fit it means that you are self-confident. If you are fit it can help you to be on the top in bedroom.
9. Try to make her parents like you. The girl has to be sure that she can introduce you to her parents (or to close friends) without making a fool out of herself. So it is your purpose to look smart and behave yourself.
10. You shouldn't be impatient and interrupt the woman while she is talking. It is very ill-mannered.
11. You shouldn't be too emotional. If you give vent to your feelings this can tell the woman that you are weak. If you want to date her you will have to show the direct opposite. You will have to convince her that you are her strong shoulder; that you are self-confident; that you know what to do; and that she can rely on your emotional strength to be a help for her. It means that all those talks about your "past mistakes", "your problems" or "your failures" is not the best good idea!
12. Women are very generous and sensitive creatures. They really like talking and helping others. If you manage to combine those attributes and got a talk up and running by asking the woman: "Could I ask you for help? Could you tell me why/what/how/..." you will be in a half way. Ask her any question you like as long as the question is non-answerable by a simple "Yes" or "No". One of the most common man's mistakes is when you ask dead-end answers. If you ask a girl a simple and clear question then practically anything she can answer is a dead end. If you ask "Do you like this move?" it will be wrong. The only thing she can answer will be "Yes" or "No". Such question will not lead into a nice conversational flow. You should ask in a different way. For example-"What do you think about this move?" And let her talk for hours.
13. Be a good and reliable friend. Women need good friends. If you start to be her understanding friend she will be grateful and rewarding.
14. There is also a problem exists that the women are afraid to "open up" too much. To "invest too much emotions". To be "hurt too easily". If you make her trust you, you will manage overcome this barrier.
15. You shouldn't touch a woman without her agreement. You can spoil everything. However there are several dodges that can help you. You can touch her by accident after a certain relaxed atmosphere has been established: While reaching to something, while sitting down. You could also invite her to dance. Touching shows her that you are a man. A possible boy-friend. It also cuts through her social barriers.
16. Another good advice is to make incomplete sentences. The girls are usually fascinated with such things.
17. You shouldn't be too polite. If you decide to open a door for a woman or something like that you may get into trouble. It can make woman think you treat them as helpless creatures.
18. You have to think up beforehand what you will answer when she asks you who you are and what you do and what you want to achieve in life. If you begin to stutter and turn pale it won't be what they want to hear. If you tell her about your hobbies, your job and etc., she will classify as a man who she can trust.
19. If your relationships are established you should carry on showing the woman that you love and appreciate her. It is not difficult. You can do this by little things as buying flowers and small presents from time to time.
20. If you noticed a woman you want to make the first contact with then don't stare at her. Don't scare the girls off by being a creepy guy watching them from behind a corner!
21. If you want to impress a woman then you will have to learn to dance. All women throughout all countries and ethnical groups love men who can dance. If you can dance and women see what a flexible body you have then you are already melting them. On the other hand BAD dancing can be one of the worst turn offs.
22. If you want to succeed you'll have to look like a successful man. Women love men who know what they want. Women love men who achieve their goals. It is the wrong strategy to hope that a woman takes pity on you just because you look so shaken by life.
23. During the first meeting you should try to have great fun and know each other a little better. Don't be too serious and try to have a lot of laughs together. You can ask her to meet you again if you feel that you had a great time. If she also had a good time, she would be foolish to not to go out again.
24. When you meet a girl you should avoid just sitting and sharing memories. You have to try to make this meeting memorable instead. It means to do something special, unusual. This could be something small as a walk in a park. Or you could invite her to go the theatre for example. Making memories is the key to keep a long relationship going. Even during hard times you have a lot of memories that will protect you from easily splitting up.
25. If you have the girl's telephone number and want to call her for the first time, it is very important to consider some rules. First of all you shouldn't call her too soon. This can scare her away. The reasonable numbers would be 2 or 4 days after you met her. On the other hand you can tell her when you call her as soon as she tells you her telephone number. If it is so, keep our words! If you get her answering machine then you can leave a message saying when you call her back. Make up a plan of what to say beforehand. A blank head and stuttering give the wrong impression. After a conversational flow is established offer to meet her. You could suggest where you could go together, but don't force her to go there and don't criticize if she doesn't want to go there.

The do’s and dont’s of the world of relationships and dating

Dating Rules -- Do's

1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?

2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.

3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.

4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.

5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.

6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.

9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.

10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

Dating Rules -- Don'ts

1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.

3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.

4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.

7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.

11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

12. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!